Tommy och Wero

This is the last thing I'm writing before tomorrow. I would like to speak English a bit more than I do today. But I don't feel that I have the vocabulary that I would need to be able to speak English instead of Swedish all the time, and I don't feel that I know how to really learn new words. I don't think I'm capable of doing that, or well, I know I am, but I don't know how to do that, it would be so much easier if someone actually spoke to me with words that I don't really understand. I think that's the best way of learning new words. What do you think?

Jesus, help me and give me the courage I need to speak English. Give me the courage I need to know that it's OK if I don't prenounsiate all the words correct. I know it doesn't matter, but I feel like I'm going to fail totally as soon as I've opened my mouth to say anything in English. Yes, Jesus, that is what it feels like. It feels like I can't speak a word English without everybody laughing at me. It feels really weird, I hate the angst it gives me. I hate it. I'm sorry Jesus, I'm sorry that I have sins, that I'm not as good as you want me to be. I'm sorry that I'm human and that I do wrong.
Amen.