Tommy och Wero

Sometimes I realize things. Well, I realize things quite often. But before, when I was doing my lunch I realized that sometimes, when I'm alone, I speak to my self, in english. I don't really know why. I just know that I can stand in front of the mirror and say something like "you know what, I don't like my toothbrush". And then I think about it and 10 minutes later I can ask myself if I really said that out loud. Because I don't know. It feels like I just thought it, but I have a memory of it, and in that memory my lips moved. It really freaks me out not knowing what I've done.

It's like when I'm on the bus and I listen to music. I can sit there singing in my head. And suddenly I can feel that someone is looking at me, and in the next moment, everybody is looking at me. (At least that's the way it feels). And then I start thinking "maybe I did sing that song out loud." And I usually listen to worship songs when I'm on the bus (the bus rides is my time with God). And I can understand if people are looking at me if I'm sitting on the bus singing How great the Fathers love for us. I really can. If I saw someone do that I would probably see that person as a religious freak. Even if I'm just the same. 

I hate myself. 

I wanna talk to someone.