School.

School today was kind of funny. Well, I guess it wasn't really funny, but I mean, I love the days in school when you have lesson after lesson without really doing anything. In the lessons today I played some games, I changed text types in some documents and I read some papers. That's about it. And we had like really long breaks between the lessons. I went out with Milja and Stina on a photo-shoot on the lunch break, and on the last break we went to the candy-shop to buy candy for the trip on Thursday. Me want a piece of candy now. Please mommy, please? (I know it's not supposed to be me in that sentence so you don't have to appoint that...)

Anyways, in the first lesson, English, Jenny said that she was amazed by how good our results on the NST's were, and then she gave me this really weired smile, and I don't know what that means. And I won't get to know that until after Japan. I'm so nervous.

I thought that maybe I should write something about Grace and what grace means to Christians. But I think I'll write that in Swedish, I don't think my vocabulary is big enough to cover what I want to say. But on the other hand that is what, from the beginning, was the point. So why not do it now? I have a dictionary...

Grace in Christianity

People in the world commit sins all the time, the difference between people who belong to different religions is not the question if the have sins, but what they and their god/gods do about it.

For example we can take Christians, when we know we've done something that we shouldn't have done, because that (whatever it might me) is wrong, then we regret our sin and we tell God that we're sorry that things ended up the way it did, and then, he forgives us and the problem is solved. The reason to why the problem is solved so easily is that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and when he did that we were acquitted (don't know if that's the right word for it, but you get the picture), as long as we with our souls believe and with our mouths confesses, as long as we're sorry for the things we've done and regret doing them, then we're free to go. We will get the ticket to heaven and no one can stop us.

If we take Buddhists instead, then, first of all, you have to be a man (otherwise you will have to be good for you entire life, so you can be a man in your next life, and then come to nirvana), and then, second of all, you have to be really good your entire life, because there is no one that will have mercy on you. These things, PLUS that you, if you're not good enough you will be reborn as a worm or something as disgusting as a spider.

If we should compare these two religions, and look at the mercy part, I know why I'm not a Buddhist. I know why I'm a Christian and I know why I do believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I know why I don't go around with an electric chair in my necklace, I know why I wear a cross. I know that people have doubts, but that's alright, I have my doubts to. Sometimes I just get so crossed on God for not showing himself to me, but when he does I realize that he has been there the whole time. That's one of the most wonderful feelings I know, I love knowing that he hears me when I pray, I love to think about him actually knowing what I think, even when I don't feel like I know what I think. Jesus I love you.

This didn't really end the way I wanted it to.. but the Swedish version I wrote is not better, so you get this... hope someone will understand something..

God, I know the last couple of days has gone from praising you to yelling at you to be there for me (when I think you're away) to praising you again. And I will, I will praise you in this storm, and I will lift my hands, 'cause you are who you are, no matter where I am. Jesus I love you. I love the fact that I sometimes get these really cute text messages, I love the fact that I know that there is a meaning to why you made this happen. And right now God, right now I can't really complain about anything. I just love you. And I'm sorry that I do like I do, you know what I do and I know you think it's wrong. I try to stop, I'm just not there yet. I'm sorry.
Amen.

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