English again.

The blog is back in English, for a short while at least. I just need to get some things of(f?) my chest and this seemed like a good idea.

I wrote yesterday that God was cool and that I loved him. And that's an interesting thing, 'cause now I don't feel the same at all. I would just like to hit him in the head with something really hard, like a chair or something. I hate the pain. I hate that he teases me and takes the pain away for a short while, and then lets it come back. Stronger than before... Did I really say I wanted to play this game?

Lord. I stand before you and all I see is darkness. Where is the light that used to surround you? Where is the light that used to be in my eyes? Where is my hope? Do you really think this is funny? I've never actually asked someone for help, not a person that I don't know at all, but I did now. Why? Because I need an answer, NOW. Why do you leave me here all by my self? Why don't you answer my prayers? Why do you make me feel like an abandoned puppy?
Jesus? Didn't you die on the cross for my sins? Or was it everybody else's sins you died for? I don't understand anymore.
Amen.

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